I do not remember

if I have been here before, stared into this chasm and tried to find the void in the concrete at the bottom of the wash,

tried to see the stars by staring into the sun

until the world around me was white.

and I cannot remember

if I have been here before, sitting in the dark and trying to understand how to get up when it feels like drowning,

and how to swim even when the river has dried up,

and there is no-thing left

but

bare

concrete.

#Funhouse #Golem #Life #Poetry #StillAlive #TheInvestigator #TheMoon #TheSun #TheTruth #WeDoRecover

when all is said and done how

am I supposed to move forward, if I can only remember how it ended; the noise of a hospital hallway and praying. and that it's nothing, and I am supposed to just go home; go back to work.

but it's not that simple.

now gxd sits alone, underneath the freeway overpass waiting for the morning.

all of these ideas used to be dreams that I have forgotten how to have;

all of these paths are roads going forward just with a ramp and a rail where stairs were, where stars were.

I am sitting alone on the edge of the freeway overpass, searching for gxd. I am awake.

#Agnostic #Agnosticism #Atheism #Atheist #DailyLife #Fiction #Funhouse #God #Golem #Gxd #Poetry #TheInvestigator #TheTruth #WhateverThisIs