I do not remember

if I have been here before, stared into this chasm and tried to find the void in the concrete at the bottom of the wash,

tried to see the stars by staring into the sun

until the world around me was white.

and I cannot remember

if I have been here before, sitting in the dark and trying to understand how to get up when it feels like drowning,

and how to swim even when the river has dried up,

and there is no-thing left

but

bare

concrete.

#Funhouse #Golem #Life #Poetry #StillAlive #TheInvestigator #TheMoon #TheSun #TheTruth #WeDoRecover

there are some things that one never thinks would catch fire. but here we are

drenched in sun, woodsmoke, and gasoline. and we cannot wash this passion clean from our clothes. the first spring rains come pouring down and we keep two halves of

a secret

held in your mouth with the stars. this time we cannot continue but for our own sake. because even when we can no longer dream, we can still become someone else; we can page through their memories and clutch the bouquet of fake flowers they caught at a wedding, whose wedding they can no longer remember but the flowers smell like gasoline and wilt in the heat,

drenched in the sun, woodsmoke, and gasoline; and we have caught fire with an intensity that melts the shards of broken glass and mirror. and we are the wind, blowing the woodsmoke across the rippling water. we are the sun

and the reflections of burning leaves dance in the mirage and in your eyes.

#Fiction #InLove #Love #Myth #Mythology #Poetry #Religion #TheInvestigator #TheMoon #Theology #WhateverThisIs

when all is said and done how

am I supposed to move forward, if I can only remember how it ended; the noise of a hospital hallway and praying. and that it's nothing, and I am supposed to just go home; go back to work.

but it's not that simple.

now gxd sits alone, underneath the freeway overpass waiting for the morning.

all of these ideas used to be dreams that I have forgotten how to have;

all of these paths are roads going forward just with a ramp and a rail where stairs were, where stars were.

I am sitting alone on the edge of the freeway overpass, searching for gxd. I am awake.

#Agnostic #Agnosticism #Atheism #Atheist #DailyLife #Fiction #Funhouse #God #Golem #Gxd #Poetry #TheInvestigator #TheTruth #WhateverThisIs